I’m almost embarrassed to admit that we struggle at times. I know I have posted when God has given me verses or an extra portion of strength. People have commented on how strong we are being. (That is God, not us.) It makes it hard to confess times when we falter though. Truth be told there are times when things get rough. I was and am ready for sadness (as much as someone can be.) I wasn’t prepared for the anger though. Angie is struggling with "why me" and she is mad about it. Because of this, her attitude sucks sometimes. It is tough because I can’t even begin to understand trying to process all of this at 15. So, I want to be lenient and understanding. How do you be sympathetic when she is being difficult and slamming stuff around? I told her it is like trying to hug a porcupine.I am sorry we haven’t written in a few days. We have been busy. Monday was Katlyn’s graduation and my parents were here. We went out to eat and then to the graduation. Afterward, everyone came back to our house for cake and the kids played Rock Band. Yesterday was a bad day. I had some stomach thing going on. Angie was freaking out because she let herself fall behind on schoolwork. Katlyn and I were trying to help, but Angie was still being a brat. She has finals today and tomorrow.
Today I woke up to a call from Sharon. She FINALLY got someone from Anthem on the phone. They said that “yes” they would pay out-of-network costs for Angie to have her surgery in Tucson. So YAY!!!! We don’t have to go to UCLA. She also told me that she has already sent the paperwork to Tucson. We are just waiting for that to get reviewed and then we should get this thing going.
OK, well Aimee should be here in a little over an hour. We are going to watch a DVD that COTA sent me. I need to get that stuff all turned in so we can start the fundraising.
I will have Angie post tonight.
Okay, so you are human. No one should expect super human strength, that is God's and His alone. We are allowed to wonder why me, we can come to God with everything in prayer and petition. Paul had sucha a hard time (day, weeks, years) that he even dispaired for his life.
ReplyDeleteRemember, God does allow us more than we can handle. Paul said so himself(2 Cor 1:8). If we could handle it all we wouldn't need Jesus, he wants to handle it for you. That is where that peace that passes all understanding comes in.
So, no worries, you are allowed to have bad days, rough times, insecurity, and everything else that comes with it all. Just remember to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and He will see it through.
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". Jer 29:11
You are constantly thought of, thank you for being so transparent.
Blessings
I needed to really hear how your family is. I have asked and read the blog but was worried it was fluff to save us all from what you are going through. Keep hugging that porcupine, I am sure school is the one thing she is tring to keep control of.
ReplyDeleteI know it's hard to be vulnerable! To show raw emotions. To even speak of the "yucky" part of all this. But this is what you are going through. This is where God has you and your family right now. It is so good for you to share with us the hard times and struggles, along with the good days. So we know just what you are struggleing with and for us to know how to pray. And like I said before, it could even be like a "vomit" for you. To, just, throw it all out on here, inside of holding on to it. Same for Angie. It might be great for her to get on here, and just post her feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc. To get it all out. Even, to just, make whatever she says, a prayer to God as she is writing. God, I am angry. I am hurting. Please comfort me and give me peace.
ReplyDeletePlease Mel, don't feel embarrassed. We are all here for you guys. We are all friends and/or family. We are here for your family and Angie. We love you guys! If you aren't honest, we can't know what you are thinking, feeling, need, or even pray for. We are to pray specifically.
There are going to be ups and downs. Rough patches in the road ahead. And with prayer you will get through it all. Angie is keepin' me all prayed up! ;)
Just like what Andrea said...God does allow us more than we can handle. Paul said so himself(2 Cor 1:8). If we could handle it all we wouldn't need Jesus, he wants to handle it for you. I remember tellin' ya this the other night at Sonic. All the emotions that you, your family, and Angie are feeling are normal. Understandable. I know it doesn't make it any easier to handle. Please don't feel like you need to hold anything back. We love you and aren't judging anything.
I don't think you were fluff all the other posts, because, I know first hand, by being with you that you guys are being really strong. That God has been giving you strength and peace. That He is truly holding you and your family.
Angie...I will be praying for you tomorrow while you are taking your finals! I love you Turkey! It was great to see you today. Remember what I told you at the hospital...about being angry. It's okay. It's normal. Tell God. Talk to Him. That's what He wants, is for you to be honest with Him. Have a relationship with Him. He loves you Angela and is holding you right now.
And yes, like I know you are and will, keep holding that porcupine. (tee hee hee) (new nickname for ya Ang)
I LOVE YOU GUYS!! BIG HUGS!
I enjoyed our day together today!
I just reread my post. Mel, please, don't think I was being pushy, or hard on ya. I just was trying to show my love to you and let you know that we are totally here for you even when it's yucky. Thank you for sharing and being so open with us.
ReplyDeleteOh-(and inside is suppose to be instead)on my above comment. Where I was talking about "vomit"
Love the pics on the postings. Please keep them acomin'! I want all the pictrues from the other night...if possible. ;)
It's time's like these that I just want to run into the arms of Jesus...
ReplyDelete"You are my hiding place; You shall preserve me from trouble. You shall surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7
Oh I Love that Scripture and I hope it brings you comfort as it does me. When going through thoes hard moments just ask God to take you to that place, and surround you with His song. And may you find comfort in that. And girl your doing great, your such an awsome mom, so don't sweat it. And Angie is such an awsome girl--Luv ya girly--. And No one has it all together, and well I'm probably at the bottom of the stack, LOL. And don't forget I'm here for you. For anything : ) . Here for your whole family. Ohh and that is GREAT NEWS about the paying for the outta network! I'm doing a happy dance right now---Weee Who!
Thank you for sharing your heart with us.
ReplyDeleteAs I saw Drea's post, it reminded me of the teaching she did for our women's tea... If you haven't heard it yet, you should go online to CCS' website and listen to it. It will bless you and encourage you.
I think Oswald Chambers said (something like this), when a Christian wrestles with God (knowing God is powerful but will He do what we want) and after the wrestling and doubt -- you come out believing in His goodness, that's when deep faith is established.
I'm praying for you and the whole family!
Love,
Julie K
Praising God that you are able to have the surgery done here and that you don't have to go L.A.; that would have really sucked.
ReplyDelete{{{Hugs}}}
~Monica